Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My email from my mother

This is the fairy take that should have been read to us when we were little:


Once upon a time in a land far away,


A beautiful, independent, self-assured princess


Happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.


The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.


One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am


And then, my sweet, we can marry


And set up housekeeping in your castle


With my mother,


Where you can prepare my meals,


Clean my clothes, bear my children,


And forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”


That night,


As the princess dined sumptuously


On lightly sautéed frog legs


Seasoned in a white wine


And onion cream sauce,


She chuckled and thought to herself:


I don’t fucking think so.

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